That relaxing feeling didn’t last too long. I’ve spent the last couple of weeks trying to figure out why Mom is having trouble walking (aching hips) and more confused than usual. I got hung up on the walking part until two days ago when someone suggested a UTI. Duh! She has had three already, but she’s never had physical symptoms so I hadn’t considered that. Last night we finally got a urine sample to test, so we’ll know more this morning.

I’m not sure why everything takes so long, but I’m trying to learn to push gently and know that everyone is doing what they can. So that, plus Mom’s 93 year-old boyfriend who thinks he knows better for her than I do, is making me a little crazy. I had to laugh a little when I walked in her room last night and she was on the floor saying, “They told me to get down here because we are under attack.” If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.

This IG post from @notesfromyourtherapist hit home. Did you grow up feeling like you were responsible for someone’s emotions? It’s a lifelong pattern and one I struggle with. Knowing about why I do what I do doesn’t necessarily make life easier. But seeing her post reminds me– I don’t have to fix this this.