15 years ago…

I started a blog.

I wasn’t sure about this blog thing, but I had started running, and I was “googling” for help. I discovered Complete Running and reached out to Mark. He suggested starting a blog, and suddenly I was in a family–number 11!  There were only a few of us in those early days, but we became cheerleaders for each other. I went from running two minutes to completing half marathons.

The greater learning for me was in the connecting with people around the world. Unfortunately I lost the first couple of years of blogging when I switched platforms, but I continued writing through my teaching and traveling.

I turned 68 a few weeks ago. Though my writing is much less frequent, I still find myself turning to the blog when I want to get something out of my head or to share something that someone else might find useful.

Here’s what I’m thinking about these days– why the hell don’t we do a better job with mental health? Who cares if we learn to read and write if we can’t manage our emotional life? If I have any regrets (and I do), they all involve my fears, my lack of confidence, and my inability to navigate relationships early in my life. Oh, who am I kidding, I still have trouble.

I’ve spent the last 15 years reading, learning about myself, and figuring out where my anxieties come from. But this all would have been much easier if I’d traveled through the muck as a child.

I mastered hiding, running, escaping– anything to avoid confrontation. I hope I am better with that now.

One of my goals this summer, this summer of retreat in Rhode Island, is to meditate on a regular basis. I tend to do it when I need it, but everything I know says a daily practice is what helps. So, onward. I have a few years left, and I want to enjoy them.