I am rejuvenated.
What is it about walking in soft, white sand, staring at teal water, or slipping through gentle waves as we sail?
After a long winter of health issues, mom issues, and freezing cold weather, I am ready to — well, ready to continue on. The problems don’t change, but they are certainly easier when I’ve had a break. I’ve enlisted the help of experts for the next few weeks to guide me through some decisions about caring for mom, and that will help. Also, I’m setting up a regular schedule of visits with her so I can designate some printing time. I’ve missed that.
But this morning, my thoughts are back in Turks and Caicos. What a gift.
The mind should be allowed some relaxation, that it may return to its work all the better for the rest. Seneca
Things are finally calming down around here. Mom is happy in her new place, where they are taking such good care of her. I can pop in every day since it’s so close. She doesn’t remember much beyond the present, but isn’t that something all of us could do? Wow, living in the moment. What a concept.
I am printing again, which is so gratifying.
I’ve learned that simply recognizing a feeling, acknowledging it, and moving on is the key to staying relaxed and out of the anxiety zone. I listen to Untangle every morning, where I find ways to stay on the right track (and other good people to follow and learn from).
Snow has arrived. The cold will keep me inside, but that’s not a bad thing.
My mom knows this– petting any animal brings her joy. I’m a big believer in the serenity animals can bring. They lower stress by releasing the hormone oxytocin.
I wonder if printing does this for me, too. I know. It sounds silly, but there is a calm that takes over. Perhaps it is the focus or maybe it simply takes my mind away from stress to something pleasurable.
These days we need to work hard not to let our emotions be hijacked. Nourish yourself with whatever takes you back to you.
I printed this card recently. In trying not to be so hard on myself (listening to the voice that says, “you’re not doing enough), I attempted to block the emotion.
The truth is that sometimes we need to listen to the voice, even if only for a minute or two. Nancy Jane Smith writes about this here, saying “what if there is no happy ending?” And, of course, for me with mom, there isn’t. Her dementia will worsen. One day, she won’t know who I am. Even if she does, she won’t for long as her memory seems to last about an hour these days.
What if that thought is actually freeing? What if that means you can stop hustling, reframing, pretending, changing your thoughts and changing your vibrations all the time? What if you could just be whatever you are without always trying to find the happy ending?”
I have struggled the last ten years to unlock a lifetime of emotions. Yes, I wish I had started earlier. Don’t we all? But dealing with these feelings now is freeing, as Smith says. I hope printing and sharing my cards helps others deal with theirs, too.
Dementia has taught me much about the brain, memory, thinking, and feeling. Grief has its own gifts.