But I do have this day before me. At 70, I am acutely aware of the passage of time.
A few years ago when I was letterpress printing, I bought Susan O’Malley’s book. I loved printing short quotes, and this colorful book drew me in.
Recently, I discovered Susan died unexpectedly at the age of 38. She’d been carrying twins, and they died, too. What a tragedy. That news settled in my gut and reminded me- once again- of our short time on this earth, in our physical bodies. As I spend these two weeks in Turks and Caicos, I am trying to work through her list.
Time may not be on my side, but I will sit and breathe, trying to remember that this is it. As Susan once said, “pay attention to the good stuff.”
I knew our return trip from Portugal would be difficult for me, just as our return from Germany and France had been a few years ago. Walking through small towns and larger cities in Europe filled with coffee shops, interesting people going here and there, and old historic buildings along beautiful rivers makes me joyful. I am at peace.
Not so in this country.
Don’t jump down my throat. I know the United States offers much good not evident in many other parts of the world. I’ve just not been seeing much of it lately. The politics. the violence, the stupidity of people running for office, and the disparity between the rich and poor make my blood boil. I seem to say over and over, “what’s wrong with people?”
I also know that spending a week traveling in Portugal doesn’t make me the expert on Portugal. One of our guides mentioned the 48% tax residents pay (to cover education, health, and infrastructure). Someone in our group gasped. But I nodded in full agreement with the payment. What I don’t know is how our two systems compare. Would I be willing to pay half my salary for a system like theirs? I’d like to think I would, if only to even things out.
I can’t help but think we could learn something from this culture. But we can’t if we continue to put America First and wear blinders blocking our understanding of the rest of the world.
So I am trying to be gentle with myself. I’ll visit a local coffee shop and order espresso. I’ll make sure I keep up with my walks and my writing. Avoiding large crowds helps, as does keeping my schedule as simple as I can.
Yesterday, I called out “Bom Dia!” to someone walking his dog. I’m sure he thought I was a nut, but I don’t care. I’ll pretend I’m there for a while longer.
Now that we’re back from our trip out West (South Dakota, Montana, Iowa, and Wyoming), I’ll need days to recover. Lack of sleep, eating all the wrong things, nervous stomach from driving over tall mountains, and, of course flying all contributed to this current state of affairs.
Our last flight was canceled, so we spent 9 hours in the airport before settling into a midnight flight to DC (with turbulence all the way). Now my gut is raging, my feet are swollen, and I’m exhausted.
Was it worth it? Yes. The views, the animals, various museums, and the fun people who shared our week-long adventure made this memorable. The temperatures were 90 at home, and we had a foot of snow!
The long days (we began with breakfast at 7 and ended getting off the bus around 5-6 most days) and cafeteria food (lots of carbs, meat, and sugar), and a different hotel each evening (packing and unpacking) made me wish the trip had been shorter. At one point, I told David I wish we hadn’t come and I’d never do this kind of trip again.
But then we’d visit a new place, learn the history, and see sights that are difficult to find words for, and I was ready for more. Now that it’s over, the negatives are fading from memory….
Instead, I am thinking of the Lakotas and our broken treaties; the Ziolkowski family who devoted their lives to carving Crazy Horse; a live bison napping outside our lodge window; a snowstorm at Yellowstone; the murder of thousands of bisons by Buffalo Bill Cody; waterfalls showering rocks and streams; Badlands and the geologic formations; many myths surrounding Yellowstone park; and challenges of Native American life today.
This makes so much sense:
“Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.” – Anthony Bourdain
I spent four days at Life is a Verb Camp with Patti Digh last weekend. This third time was different, partly because I dragged my husband along to help me carry heavy presses and type and partly because I’ve changed.
The weekend is a safe place for everyone, regardless of personality type, gender, religion, culture, or heritage. Usually, I attend it all– the small creative workshops, the loud, boisterous talent show, the speakers. But this weekend, I listened to my heart, my head, and my stomach– all three told me to spend time away from the crowds. On one hand it was hard. I love these people. But I also have had a difficult fall, and I knew that socializing, even with kind, good people, was not going to be easy for me.
Instead I read and wrote, walked about the camp looking at colors, and explored Hendersonville. NC. The few times I connected restored me– sharing my love of letterpress, meeting new people over meals in the dining room, and spending a few moments with poet Toi Derricotte ( joy). I wish some of these folks lived closer so we could meet in small groups!
But no regrets. I am glad I went (stopping along the way to see my “traveling friends” in Charlotte– so much fun!)
We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly – spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order. Susan L. Taylor
