Learn, Think, Write

Organizing myself online

Archives for September 2021

You Have No Regrets Scheduled Today

Photo by Fahmi Fakhrudin on Unsplash

When I opened my calendar email today, I instead of “no events” I saw: You have no regrets scheduled for today.

Now that is a sign from the universe. Perhaps I’ve been spending just a little too much time in the past.

Part of my wellness plan is staying in the present, which is so important for mental health. I tend to go back, rethinking decisions and go forward, trying to predict outcomes. Instead, I am learning to take a deep breath and focus on being right here, right now. It was difficult at first, but it’s becoming easier.

Self care means asking myself “what do I need right now?” Sometimes it’s a nap, and often it’s a walk. This also helps me make good food (and alcohol) choices. Yes, these routines are easier in retirement. But I wish I’d learned to focus more on myself when I was younger. Worrying about what everyone else thinks drains me. It can be downright debilitating.

The biggest shift for me, though, is trying to have no regrets– I did what I could with what I had at the moment. And meditating on that keeps me present.

Things I am reading and listening to:

Self-kindness meditation from Ten Percent Happier

Forgive yourself for who you used to be

Food to eat (or not) for gut issues

Yoga for anxiety

Summer Storms at Work

With roaring indifference to the frail and imperfect, 
wind flings dead branches and uproots bushes,
sending them sailing.
The trees and I moan under the weight of it all.
I toss aside a broken bough, pruning thoughts under clearing skies.

We survived Hurricane Henri and the remnants of Hurricane Ida. But a poem I wrote last year came to mind as I wandered the beach and then my yard, picking up branches and dead limbs. Those ruminating thoughts can be tossed, too.

A “cleaning of the clutter” periodically helps keep me sane and functioning. I listened to a Ten Percent Happier podcast the other day, a challenge based on the Ted Lasso show (which I love). Joseph Goldstein shared some “phrases for stress” I found helpful. One, “the thought of your mother is not your mother,” helps remind me that what I’m thinking isn’t real. It’s like a movie– no one is really being killed, no one is jumping off a cliff. In our lives, he says, thoughts can cause stress when we take the thought as reality. Some thoughts can trigger emotions.

Thoughts can exercise great power over our life, so remembering that they are only thoughts is helpful.