Learn, Think, Write

Organizing myself online

I Want to be Alone

I’ve finally established a fairly good morning routine. Gentle, peaceful, quiet.

But what I’ve realized it this: I really like it because I am alone.

I wake slowly and drink my coffee. The I do my pilates exercises on the reformer while listening to a podcast. Next, I move to my chair where I journal or work on poetry, and finally I meditate. I do this in the room I transformed from my letterpress studio to a “room of my own.”

I am by myself. And it feels fine.

Here’s the science from an article by Jenn Grannemann:

introverts are more sensitive than extroverts to dopamine. As a result, introverts simply need less of it to feel its pleasant effects. Too much dopamine, and introverts get overstimulated, according to Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, in her 2002 book, The Introvert Advantage. ….. Interestingly, Laney writes, introverts may prefer to use a slightly different brain pathway, one that is activated by acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter tied to long-term memory, perceptual learning, and the ability to stay calm and alert, among other things. Introverts may enjoy spending time alone in part because of acetylcholine; according to Laney, this chemical may produce a happy feeling for introverts when they’re quietly reflecting, concentrating, or turned inward.

https://introvertdear.com/news/introverts-alone-time-science-marti-olsen-laney/

I am happiest when I am reflecting, either on paper or by sitting quietly and thinking. Even now as I write this blog post, I am content and filled with joy.

As we age, it’s important not to give up socializing. I do like my friends! I know my brain is also healthier when I see people. My goal is to find a good balance as we come out of this pandemic.

Greta and I could have been friends.

You Have No Regrets Scheduled Today

Photo by Fahmi Fakhrudin on Unsplash

When I opened my calendar email today, I instead of “no events” I saw: You have no regrets scheduled for today.

Now that is a sign from the universe. Perhaps I’ve been spending just a little too much time in the past.

Part of my wellness plan is staying in the present, which is so important for mental health. I tend to go back, rethinking decisions and go forward, trying to predict outcomes. Instead, I am learning to take a deep breath and focus on being right here, right now. It was difficult at first, but it’s becoming easier.

Self care means asking myself “what do I need right now?” Sometimes it’s a nap, and often it’s a walk. This also helps me make good food (and alcohol) choices. Yes, these routines are easier in retirement. But I wish I’d learned to focus more on myself when I was younger. Worrying about what everyone else thinks drains me. It can be downright debilitating.

The biggest shift for me, though, is trying to have no regrets– I did what I could with what I had at the moment. And meditating on that keeps me present.

Things I am reading and listening to:

Self-kindness meditation from Ten Percent Happier

Forgive yourself for who you used to be

Food to eat (or not) for gut issues

Yoga for anxiety

Forcing the Issue

I have to say– I really don’t like Valentine’s Day. It seems artificial. Forced. Stiff.

So why do I print cards for the occasion? I’m not sure. Maybe because it’s expected. But I have realized I don’t need to. I don’t want to. I am really trying to shift my priorities and lower my stress. (I know– how can a retired person have stress?)

So once I close my Etsy shop again, I am going to clean out all the cards I no longer want to print… and relax.

xo

Here it Comes Again

 

 

 

Do you have a “default” story you always tell yourself? Of course you do. We all do.

It took me a long time to understand and face all the stories I had buried: that women defer to men, that I shouldn’t express my opinion, that I am disorganized and lack attention to details. There are more.

These stories shape us, and as we narrate the stories in our head, send us on our journeys. I was finally able to realize where the stories had come from (culture, parents, experiences) and, more importantly, figure out how to break the cycle.

For example, I am a little disorganized. But that doesn’t make me a bad person. I have also learned to compensate. I have been a success in many aspects of my life. When I lose something these days, I try to laugh and not let myself get dragged down into “I always do this. Why can’t I be more organized?”

All this to say, I’m sure the reason I letterpress print sayings and quotes I love is the reminder to myself that I am fine. A change of thoughts translates to a change in actions. Sometimes I need to pause for a moment, shake those negative thoughts out of my head, and then I’m on my way.