Learn, Think, Write

Organizing myself online

Figuring it all out

I haven’t.

Oh, I keep thinking I have everything under control. But then I get that rapid heart beat, the stomach rolling, and I recognize it. I am anxious again.

Once you’ve experienced it, you will know immediately.

So what to do? Well, I know I’ve taken on some extra volunteering lately. I’m on the Board of NICA, (Nopes Island Conservation Association) and on the marketing committee of Mental Health America of Fredericksburg. Both are important organizations that do so much good. I’m helping with social media and writing newsletters among other things.

I had also volunteered to print some wedding invitations for a sweet friend, and since that’s normally out of my lane, I let the whole process drive me crazy. Mistake after mistake and –rushing! When I get anxious, my thoughts start swirling and whirling, and the next thing I know, my actions follow my thoughts. I’ve been going too fast.

So, big breath today. Slow down. Stop overthinking. I need to remember the patterns I fall into, and then also remember- I can stop.

“Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important.”
—Natalie Goldberg

Forcing the Issue

I have to say– I really don’t like Valentine’s Day. It seems artificial. Forced. Stiff.

So why do I print cards for the occasion? I’m not sure. Maybe because it’s expected. But I have realized I don’t need to. I don’t want to. I am really trying to shift my priorities and lower my stress. (I know– how can a retired person have stress?)

So once I close my Etsy shop again, I am going to clean out all the cards I no longer want to print… and relax.

xo

Here it Comes Again

 

 

 

Do you have a “default” story you always tell yourself? Of course you do. We all do.

It took me a long time to understand and face all the stories I had buried: that women defer to men, that I shouldn’t express my opinion, that I am disorganized and lack attention to details. There are more.

These stories shape us, and as we narrate the stories in our head, send us on our journeys. I was finally able to realize where the stories had come from (culture, parents, experiences) and, more importantly, figure out how to break the cycle.

For example, I am a little disorganized. But that doesn’t make me a bad person. I have also learned to compensate. I have been a success in many aspects of my life. When I lose something these days, I try to laugh and not let myself get dragged down into “I always do this. Why can’t I be more organized?”

All this to say, I’m sure the reason I letterpress print sayings and quotes I love is the reminder to myself that I am fine. A change of thoughts translates to a change in actions. Sometimes I need to pause for a moment, shake those negative thoughts out of my head, and then I’m on my way.

 

 

 

When the World Changes

I wasn’t sure I had anything to add to the many people writing about this pandemic. Feeling loss? Boredom? Frustration? Or is there a comfort in staying home and simplifying your life?

No matter what you are feeling, your feelings are true. If there is one thing I’ve learned in my nearly 68 years (yikes), it is this: feelings are meant to be felt. Some days I am on a roller coaster.

We need to acknowledge this hard time. We are not all fine.

But we will be.

What I’m reading and listening to:

A sweet story about a child and a USPS mail carrier (LOVE this)

Podcast: Checking In with Susan David

Small Ways to Improve Your Life, Gretchen Rubin and Dan Harris

Seeing Each Other

This Too Shall Pass: Mourning Collective Loss in the Time of Covid-19.

Thinking About Friends

We are in the last third of our lives. That sounds a little scary, a little limiting, slightly stressful. But not really.

Retirement is allowing us to do exactly what we want. Whether it’s traveling with friends or spending time walking the beach in Rhode Island, David and I find these slower moments help us know how we want to spend this time.

Soon we will head to France, meeting friends from North Carolina that we happened to meet on our first trip three years ago. What a joy to travel with them, sharing our experiences, and making memories.

Mom is in a good place, truly living in the moment, not worrying about the past or the future. Alzheimer’s does that. But we could all learn from this. All we really have is the present.

Enough by David Whyte

 Enough. These few words are enough.
If not these words, this breath.
If not this breath, this sitting here.
This opening to the life
we have refused
again and again
until now.
Until now