Learn, Think, Write

Organizing myself online

You Have No Regrets Scheduled Today

Photo by Fahmi Fakhrudin on Unsplash

When I opened my calendar email today, I instead of “no events” I saw: You have no regrets scheduled for today.

Now that is a sign from the universe. Perhaps I’ve been spending just a little too much time in the past.

Part of my wellness plan is staying in the present, which is so important for mental health. I tend to go back, rethinking decisions and go forward, trying to predict outcomes. Instead, I am learning to take a deep breath and focus on being right here, right now. It was difficult at first, but it’s becoming easier.

Self care means asking myself “what do I need right now?” Sometimes it’s a nap, and often it’s a walk. This also helps me make good food (and alcohol) choices. Yes, these routines are easier in retirement. But I wish I’d learned to focus more on myself when I was younger. Worrying about what everyone else thinks drains me. It can be downright debilitating.

The biggest shift for me, though, is trying to have no regrets– I did what I could with what I had at the moment. And meditating on that keeps me present.

Things I am reading and listening to:

Self-kindness meditation from Ten Percent Happier

Forgive yourself for who you used to be

Food to eat (or not) for gut issues

Yoga for anxiety

Here it Comes Again

 

 

 

Do you have a “default” story you always tell yourself? Of course you do. We all do.

It took me a long time to understand and face all the stories I had buried: that women defer to men, that I shouldn’t express my opinion, that I am disorganized and lack attention to details. There are more.

These stories shape us, and as we narrate the stories in our head, send us on our journeys. I was finally able to realize where the stories had come from (culture, parents, experiences) and, more importantly, figure out how to break the cycle.

For example, I am a little disorganized. But that doesn’t make me a bad person. I have also learned to compensate. I have been a success in many aspects of my life. When I lose something these days, I try to laugh and not let myself get dragged down into “I always do this. Why can’t I be more organized?”

All this to say, I’m sure the reason I letterpress print sayings and quotes I love is the reminder to myself that I am fine. A change of thoughts translates to a change in actions. Sometimes I need to pause for a moment, shake those negative thoughts out of my head, and then I’m on my way.

 

 

 

Begin Again

I take pictures of sunrises and sunsets. Often. I never tire of the oranges, pinks, and blues as they blend into one another.
When I’ve had a rough week (or day), I find one of the photos and stare at it, remembering how I felt when the colors surrounded me and my breathing changed. This morning I searched for this one– a day at the beach, a slight wind in the air. As I process troublesome thoughts, I know this morning is also a moment in time, and it will pass. There will be other gorgeous sunrises, signaling a new day, another chance.

Begin again.

Not Giving Up Yet

Whew, a long few months.  It’s amazing how mom’s dementia (plus her stress fracture and UTI) and my own bout with some stomach/digestive issues have twisted my thinking and weighed me down. But I do believe that warmer weather and signs of spring are lifting me out of the darkness.

I am learning how to balance it all. John O’Donohue helps, too:

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets into you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green
and azure blue,
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.