The Great Escape

When you can’t remember that you don’t remember, life is frustrating. Last night Mom needed an MRI to see why she was struggling to walk. She winced at every step.

But the good people at the imaging center were running behind. At 10 pm, Mom was ready to go, not sure where she was, or why we were there. The results  will be ready on Monday, but until then, we need to keep her off her feet. That’s not easy when you forget that you aren’t supposed to walk.

David sensed that I needed a break, so we took a 20-hour trip to VA Beach. Seeing this made the quick trip totally worth it:

Sea, Sun, Sand

I am rejuvenated.

What is it about walking in soft, white sand, staring at teal water, or slipping through gentle waves as we sail?

After a long winter of health issues, mom issues, and freezing cold weather, I am ready to — well, ready to continue on. The problems don’t change, but they are certainly easier when I’ve had a break. I’ve enlisted the help of experts for the next few weeks to guide me through some decisions about caring for mom, and that will help. Also, I’m setting up a regular schedule of visits with her so I can designate some printing time. I’ve missed that.

But this morning, my thoughts are back in Turks and Caicos. What a gift.

The mind should be allowed some relaxation, that it may return to its work all the better for the rest. Seneca 

From OnBeing

For One Who Is Exhausted, a Blessing

When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight.

The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.

Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.

The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.

You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken in the race of days.

At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.

You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.

Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.

Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.

Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.

Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.

Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.

Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.

Talking to Myself

Things are finally calming down around here. Mom is happy in her new place, where they are taking such good care of her. I can pop in every day since it’s so close. She doesn’t remember much beyond the present, but isn’t that something all of us could do? Wow, living in the moment. What a concept.

I am printing again, which is so gratifying.

I’ve learned that simply recognizing a feeling, acknowledging it, and moving on is the key to staying relaxed and out of the anxiety zone. I listen to Untangle every morning, where I find ways to stay on the right track (and other good people to follow and learn from).

Snow has arrived. The cold will keep me inside, but that’s not a bad thing.

Any Animal, Any At All

My mom knows this– petting any animal brings her joy. I’m a big believer in the serenity animals can bring. They lower stress by releasing the hormone oxytocin.

I wonder if printing does this for me, too.  I know. It sounds silly, but there is a calm that takes over. Perhaps it is the focus or maybe it simply takes my mind away from stress to something pleasurable.

These days we need to work hard not to let our emotions be hijacked. Nourish yourself with whatever takes you back to you.