The Journal

thinking, writing, becoming my own teacher

Talking to Myself

Things are finally calming down around here. Mom is happy in her new place, where they are taking such good care of her. I can pop in every day since it’s so close. She doesn’t remember much beyond the present, but isn’t that something all of us could do? Wow, living in the moment. What a concept.

I am printing again, which is so gratifying.

I’ve learned that simply recognizing a feeling, acknowledging it, and moving on is the key to staying relaxed and out of the anxiety zone. I listen to Untangle every morning, where I find ways to stay on the right track (and other good people to follow and learn from).

Snow has arrived. The cold will keep me inside, but that’s not a bad thing.

Any Animal, Any At All

My mom knows this– petting any animal brings her joy. I’m a big believer in the serenity animals can bring. They lower stress by releasing the hormone oxytocin.

I wonder if printing does this for me, too.  I know. It sounds silly, but there is a calm that takes over. Perhaps it is the focus or maybe it simply takes my mind away from stress to something pleasurable.

These days we need to work hard not to let our emotions be hijacked. Nourish yourself with whatever takes you back to you.

sleep, sleep, and more sleep

I’m craving a good night’s sleep. 

My research led me to an app that measures how you are actually sleeping, and it’s fascinating. Check out the chart from last night. The initial blip is because I set it to start before I had brushed my teeth and actually climbed into bed! But then I seemed to sleep well until 12:30, when I think David let the cat out. I did wake around 4:45. I tried to fall back asleep, but couldn’t. So at 5:30, I was up for the day.

The article pointed me to another change– sleeping in a cold room. We turned the temperature down last night, and I think that helped. I normally bundle up in my flannels no matter how hot it is. I know, I know.

After 5 nights, I get a report of some kind. Looking forward to that!

Alone in Silence

 

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I read this David Whyte quote today on OnBeing: “…a radical letting-alone of yourself in the world. Letting the world speak in its own voice and letting this deeper sense of yourself speak out.”

Having just spent a week in Turks and Caicos, walking the beach, reading quietly, spending hours without speaking, well, I get it. And I know I need it.

David continues: “In silence you find the death of the periphery, the outside concerns and the place where you’ve been building your personality and where you’ve been building who you are starts to atomize and fall apart…that giving over to something that seems like it’s going to be undermining you to begin with and lead to your demise. And the intuition unfortunately is correct. You are heading to your demise; it’s leading to a richer, deeper place that doesn’t get corroborated very much in our everyday outer world.”

In these moments, my thoughts clarify and my voice becomes clear. In the silence, I discover what I need.